24. Learning to let go.

Before this year, I was having problems in my life. I always have problems, who doesn't? But this particular problem was particularly negatively affecting me. I wasn't happy with who I am, and I was trying to be somebody I wasn't.

Long story short (I'm at work at the moment), it was the people around me making me think I wasn't who I should be. They made me think I was someone else and I tried to be that someone else, not knowing that the real me is nothing like that.

Well this year, I've tried to embrace myself a bit more and it's a slow process, but I'm actually feeling a bit happier and thinking more positively. I've been procrastinating less, I have clear goals and I've begun projects that have been on hold for at least two years. I feel like my life is moving forward. And it's all thanks to letting go.

I used to think some friends were actually friends, but by letting go, I've stopped them from holding me back. It's up to you to identify who your real friends are and who isn't making a positive impact to your life.

I used to game like, 10 hours a day, but reducing that to 2 hours has allowed me to do more things like writing my screenplay.

I used to waste time by sleeping but time is precious and by forcing myself to wake up and sleep earlier, I feel more lively and my concentration is higher.

Basically by letting go, you can gain more and achieve a state of euphoria. You just gotta choose the right things to let go.

I should be a motivational speaker or something.

23. Greatest dream ever.

Last night was the best dream I've ever had. Why was it so awesome you ask? Oh, you didn't? Well, I'm going to tell you anyway. Kendall Jenner was in my dream. She was a bit different to the real Kendall (not that I know what she's really like, she might be really different to the one on KUWTK) but just seeing her up close in my dream is good enough. Course, I still wanna see her in person one day but this was a pleasant surprise. One weird thing though, she was married. What the hell. Why would I dream that? It was like a nightmare and a dream. Like a dreamare.

I wish I could remember more of the dream but I only realised she was in my dream about an hour after I woke up. Apparently after 5 minutes of waking up, you forget 50% of your dream, and after 10 minutes, 90%. Which is a shame. 

On a side note, I also saw Ariane Grande but she couldn't sing, and she's supposed to be a singer.

22. Leaving a mark.

Thought I had posted this. Looks like I had just saved it as a draft instead. Well, here it is.

Have you guys ever though about just how insignificant we are in this world? It's like nothing we do actually matters. If a person dies, what effect does it have on this planet? Heck, is earth even significant compared to this massive universe? There's nothing we can do about that, we're just humans after all.

I was just thinking about that today since Kate Middleton's son was just born. It was all over the news and so many people was outside Buckingham Palace for no reason. All they got to see was a note to say the baby was born. That baby is already more significant than a lot of us. He left a mark on the world just by being born. Compared to me, what have I done to get anyone noticed? Maybe that time I confessed to a girl and she cried but that's about it. I'm basically worth nothing in this world.

Not that I'm saying it's bad to be insignificant, some people prefer it that way. The way that nobody notices them and they can just get on with their lives. I have a different view of life though. I want to do something to get noticed, and it's for this reason that since I was just a kid, I've wanted to be famous. I'm not sure when the notion formed but I know for real that it's been one of my goals for a long time.

I just feel that leaving a mark on this world is one of the purposes of life. There's no way we just live and die without doing anything special. Well that's my opinion anyway, you don't have to agree with it.

-stripeytofu