10. My first ever job interview.

I'm so hungry right now, I'm wolfing down the onions in my dinner. And I hate onions.

It's 11:25PM and I got home like 15 minutes ago. My interview was meant to finish at 8:30PM So what happened exactly? To answer that question, I need to start from the beginning.

Before that though, I first need to apologise for failing to do stripeytuesday a week after I started it, but I think this post will be interesting and long enough to keep you entertained and for you to forgive.

Okay, here we go.

The introduction
I was looking for jobs online. I came across a job application for a company called RedFive. They're an independent marketing firm who specialise is direct marketing. Basically door to door sales. I just thought, meh, I'll do any job, I need money.

The day came for the interview and I totally aced it. One of the first things I said was 'I've never heard of you guys'. Somehow they liked me and asked me to come back for an open day and a final interview. I thought that that was the whole interview, no idea that there were two parts.

The next day
I got a call last night, but I missed it and didn't call back. This morning, I called again and they told me to come in for 12PM for the open day. It was 11PM so I only had 20 minutes to get ready and leave the house. My hair was a mess but nothing could be done about it.

When I got there, I waited an hour before they finally assigned me to an assistant manager. I guess she was kinda attractive. She's called Pia and it was her job to show me how the company ran. Along with some other contenders (I dunno what else to call us), we headed to another place by tube. Pia and I were assigned to a couple of streets where she showed me how to sell stuff. RedFive's current client is ADT, some security company I've never heard of but apparently it's the 75th biggest company in the world. Anyways, she was really good at talking to people. I can't explain but her conversational skills were amazing. She could start one with anyone and be really friendly. To be honest, it was quite inspiring. But the thing took the whole day and I was tired. Also, we didn't even make one sale. The only good part of the day was when I met another RedFive employee called Lia. She was hot man, and she was French so she had this really sexy accent. And she smoked. And she looked a bit like Lea Michelle but without the big nose and big lips.

At 8:30PM, Pia took me back to the office. Me and Pia bonded quite a lot, she was kinda like a mentor figure to me. I learnt a lot from her. I said to her 'Can I be honest with you?' because I had another interview the next day and obviously you wouldn't say that to the company you're applying for at the moment. She said 'Go ahead, cos I love you, kid'. It wasn't like, weird or anything. She was such a cool person.

So back at the office, I had to complete a little questionnaire. Most of the stuff I didn't know, like ISA sales and how much does a client earn from 25 ISA sales a week and stuff like that. I made up random numbers. When I finally got called it, I found out the person who interviewed me was the manager. We had a little chat, and I bullshitted to sell myself and he basically told me his life story ad how rich he was and that he uses a £300 pen just cos he can and also that he's been to a club with Justin Timberlake. Me, being the naive person that I am, believed him. I still don't know how much of it is true but, whatever. Oh yeah, before I went it my cousin texted me and said to not sign anything and just get out of there as she had just checked out the company on their website. She said that they're commission based meaning you get paid depending on performance. I knew what she meant, cos Pia told me she works from 11AM to 10PM for 6 days a week. What I didn't make any sales all 6 days? I'd be working many hours for nothin.

So at the end of the interview, the manager said welcome to the team. I was pretty chuffed cos it was my first job interview and I passed it. I found out after that there were 30 applicants and I was one of 2 that got the job. Quite proud of myself. Even though I turned it down the next day.

So there's the story of my first job interview. Got the job, but didn't do it.

Moral of the story? There isn't one. Or no point applying for something you're gonna do. Make what you want of it.

PS: I actually finished this post ages ago, but because some stupid syncing thing happened, the majority of it got deleted. Sorry.